Day 4 - Pagodas, Porcelin and Pain

The day started as all our days in China have started - at 2 AM.  Jet lag has not been as bad as I feared but it sure prevents us from sleeping past 2 AM!  I said something to the kids I never thought I would ever say at the wee hours of the morning..."Shh, hey guys, do you want to play on my iPhone?" Anything to keep them quite while their little sister slept.  So we all grabbed an electronic device, threw a blanket over our heads and idled the hours away until Emma woke up at 5:30 am.  That sweet baby girl started to stir and when I went to check on her, she broke out into this glorious smile!  It was the first time we had ever seen her smile - ever! So I scooped her up and gave her a good morning kiss and our day was officially on.  Today we went to an ancient landmark of Nanchang.  A 1300 year old Pagoda that was built by a wayward son of an emperor long ago.  We took many pictures and Madelyn did her obligatory handstand in front of the pagoda.  Emma was babbling, giggling and as happy as can be.  I loved the way she would toddle over to Alex, giggle as he would tickle her, and then come running back to me so I could give her a quick hug.  I dare say, she knows that we are her Mommy and Daddy and I also dare say that she likes us! :)  After the pagoda, we went to a local porcelin market.  Porcelin is another hallmark of this city and we oohed and ahhed at the beautiful pieces.  But buying and bringing home china that is likely to break was not something we wanted to do so we politely declined and headed for the hotel.  On the way back, Emma fell asleep in my arms in the car - yes she was sitting on my lap because their is no such things as car safety in China!  She stayed asleep as we got out of the car and as we walked back to our room.  She woke briefly as we took off her coat but  I knew she was exhausted so I put her in her crib and told the kids to play quitely so Emma could go back to sleep.  She was watching us but I thought she'd go back to sleep soon.  It was then when I glanced at her that I saw quiet tears falling from her eyes.  She didn't make a sound, she didn't move, she just laid still and she just cried these silent, heart-breaking tears. I rushed to her and picked her up and held her close.  She looked at me with such sad eyes.  She must have felt like we were "done with her" and "put her away".  I showered her with kisses and the kids ran up to her to do the same.  Madelyn asked why Emma didn't cry out loud or make a sound.  I told her that no one probably came to her in the past when she cried out loud so she probably learned there was no use in crying.  This made Maddy hug Em even more.  It made me hug all my kids even more.  I don't think we'll ever know what Emma went through during her first 2 years of living in an orphanage but I do know that she will never feel that sadness again.  My heart litterally broke when I saw Emma's silent tears - but the pain I felt must pale in comparison to the pain she's lived with. Thank the Lord that that part of her life is over.
 
Later that day, we decided to use the indoor hotel pool.  We all got dressed in our swimsuit.  Emma fussed a bit at the strange feeling of the swim suit but was back to her happy self in minutes.  We went to the pool surprised to see no one in it.  Great! we thought, we'll have the whole pool to ourselves.  Before we entered to pool area, the pool attendent came over and asked if we had swimming caps.  That ended our trip to the pool.  Oh well, lesson learned.  We'll have to take Emma for her first swim when we return to the US.
 
Tomorrow we will be going to the People's Park and other landmarks and on Thursday we go to visit Emma's orphanage.  Friday we leave for Guangzhou and will be at our half-way point for our time in China.  God is so good. He amazes me.

Olivia